Here are 30 warning signs for an unhealthy or dysfunctional relationship:
– You stop communicating with one another. You shut down or withdraw from the other person.
– Your partner actively tries to cut you off from your support network of friends and family.
– He/she makes you feel inferior, unworthy or unlovable. Saying such things as “No one will ever love you the way I do”, “No one else will want you” etc.
– Your partner doesn’t respect your boundaries. Your saying “No” does not mean much to them.
– He or she forces or heavily influences you to do something that is negative or uncomfortable to you, such as drugs, alcohol, etc.
– Your partner doesn’t make you feel good about your body; they may point out things like your thinning hair or saggy underarm skin.
– You don’t have a sense of relationship security—you’ve broken up or almost broken up numerous times.
– Your conversations heavily involve screaming, nagging, yelling or blaming each other.
– Your partner is dismissive of your emotions or feelings.
– You feel worse about yourself as a person than when you started the relationship—you’re less confident and can see fewer positive qualities about yourself.
– Your partner doesn’t seem interested when you experience success, or they belittle your success.
– Your partner demonstrates behaviours such as lying, cheating etc.
– When he or she is constantly checking up on you, your whereabouts, activities, phone messages or emails etc.
– When the relationship is one-sided. It’s their way or the highway.
– They constantly express their outbursts of temper in a negative way.
– When you have massive conflicts of what you value in life. E.g. when you want children but your partner doesn’t or when you value loyalty but he/she cheats.
– When you have to lie, make excuses or justify things about your partner in front of your friends, family or colleagues.
– When you know you lie or justify to yourself about the reality of the relationship.
– When you experience any signs of verbal, physical, sexual or emotional abuse in the relationship.
– When you stop having affection and intimacy or sleep in separate bedrooms.
– Your partner goes out but doesn’t tell you where, or fails to arrive home when expected and has no explanation.
– You live in constant guilt, shame, worry, anxiety, stress, frustration and anger in the relationship.
– When you argue, one or both of you always just gets defensive. You can never acknowledge that the other person has some valid points.
– When you argue, you just blame each other rather than each accepting some blame.
– Your partner complains about you to their friends or family.
– You feel lonely when you’re together.
– You feel like you need to compromise your values or what you want just to be with him/her.
– When either of you constantly brings up past problems or emotions into the relationship.
– Your partner is coercive when it comes to sex.
– When one partner is manipulating the other or the children to get what they want in the relationship.